13 : Embarking on Adventure & Opportunity in America with Val Coelho (Part 1)

Adam Coelho: [00:00:00] Welcome to the mindful fire podcast, where we explore living mindfully on the path to financial independence and beyond I'm your host, Adam quail. And I'm so glad you're here on today's episode. I'm doing something a little bit different today. I'm joined by my dad, Val Coelho on today's episode, my dad and I explore his backstory and how he came to the United States from Portugal at the age of 24.

And how he went from working on the cruise ships, where he ultimately met my mother to building a life in the United States, even though his original plan was to head back to Portugal after making some money to start a business. And we really dive into this idea that life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

And we go on to explore how he and my mother built a business. That was able to create a life of financial stability for us. And while we weren't wealthy by any means, we had a comfortable life and all of the lessons that he learned along the way. And we get my dad's thoughts on the ideas around financial independence and his advice to people early on the path.

And for those interested in improving their mindset. I really enjoyed this conversation with my dad and I hope you do as well. Let's jump into today's episode.

Welcome to the podcast, dad. So glad to have you here. 

Val Coelho: [00:01:33] I Adam, how are you? Very happy to be here to be able to have this conversation with you 

Adam Coelho: [00:01:39] and for those in the audience, it's also my dad's birthday today. And so happy birthday, dad. 

Val Coelho: [00:01:45] Thank you. Very happy to be here with you. And one more year under the belt that just shows you out.

Fast time goes. And 

Adam Coelho: [00:01:54] it's also my 10th anniversary at Google. 

Val Coelho: [00:01:57] Like you said, it's your 10th anniversary with Google. And it looks like it was just yesterday that we drove there and there you are 10 years later. 

Adam Coelho: [00:02:07] And so it's a pretty interesting day to be having this conversation. And yeah, I totally agree.

It does feel like we just drove across the country and I started work at Google and so much has happened in both of our lives since then. So it's wild. Yeah. 

Val Coelho: [00:02:22] Time. Doesn't wait for anyone. And we back make the best use of it. And don't worry too much about the future or the past use today as the present.

Adam Coelho: [00:02:38] Yeah, absolutely. So I'd love to start by having you share with the audience a little bit of your backstory. You came to United States when you were 24. And I'd love to understand a little bit about what prompted that move and how you were thinking about things. 

Val Coelho: [00:02:55] Like most moves specially major moves.

Like those are always made out of necessity. I was born and raised in Portugal. We We're doing okay. Actually, we were not well off by any means, but we had a decent life and avoid NASCIO. My father was growing his business and we had just got into some more depth by buying a second machine for the business.

And that's when the revolution happened in Portugal. The all economy stopped for a full four years. And that was vetted difficult on our business and on the business in general. And of course that did not help with my studies either because I had finished high school on the year off the revolution.

And then on the next 40 years, that was going to college. Was pretty much anarchy in the country. We had 11 provisional governments in two years and it was not until 1976 that we were able to get a government that was able to cover the country for a couple of years. I was very involved in the politics of pulling for a certain party to get in power, to avoid the major problems of having a Marxist government.

There was a lot of nationalization of businesses taking off property from the rightful owners and all of that. But going back to schooling, the problem was that. There was another key in the schools because we used to be under the dictatorship and there was no freedom. So once there was free the Midwest under the native degrees, so it was anarchy in the schools.

Anytime there was a test or an exam, somebody would call in a bunk tread and the schools that to be evacuated. So my college years were pretty much for nursing because we could advance of course, looking at it many years after there was people that were able to advance and get their degrees. So maybe I should have applied myself a little better.

So it's not just what happened. It's how I reacted to it and what I did during that time as well, but it was not good. And 

Adam Coelho: [00:05:23] so with all that going on, at what point did you make the decision? Okay. I need to look for another opportunity. And how did you come across the opportunity in the United state?

Val Coelho: [00:05:31] Eventually. When all this going on. And I was very involved in the politics of electing a center, right government with at the time was called the PPD party, which is today the social Democrats in Portugal. We were able to elect Sacramento as the prime minister and that the government. That was stabilized and everything.

Unfortunately, during a second campaign to elect a president from the same party, there was a bomb placed on his airplane during the campaign and they killed him. So that was pretty much what told me that it was not worse. Keep on banging my head against the wall when the country was in such dire straights.

Eventually I ended up being called into the army. And after doing the army service in Portugal and having a couple of more jobs, I decided it would be time to come one on a French horn and got a job to work on the cruise ships. And came over, which your customer is a lot more detailed than these we just, or the main, basic self that adventure, the idea was to come over raise some money, to raise some capital and then go back and open a restaurant or bar.

That's what I was doing at the time was working at a five star hotel in Portugal. So that was the idea. But of course, like I used to tell you when you were a kid, Life is what happens while making different plans and maybe your mother. And I ended up staying here. 

Adam Coelho: [00:07:17] I am proof of that. So I'd love to understand what that first day or week was like when you arrived here in this country, how much money did you have?

What was the plan? All of that. 

Val Coelho: [00:07:31] My trip to the United States itself was pretty funny because I ended up flying through London to come to Miami, and then I missed the plane in London. So I had to stay an extra day in London. And it was August 13, 1982. That's the date that the famous actor and Refunder died.

I remember it because it was big news in England and over here. So I only lasted no money that I had to spread it in there too. So by the time I arrived in America, I had seven or $8 in my pocket. Arrived in Miami with very nice white pinstripe suit and tie and white shoes. Kind of disco type attire and got in a cab, gave them the address to the hotel and he drove me downtown Miami to the central American auto, which was probably worse than any three star pension that I've ever seen.

And when I. The guy stopped in front of the RTL and they said are you sure this is where you're going to go? I say, is that the address I gave? You said, yeah, this is the address. So I said let me out there. So walked into the pension. And there was this old Cuban guy was the manager and they looked at me and what you're doing in here in Spanish, of course, ice Pope.

No Spanish, Portuguese. And but I was able to understand him and I told him I was coming to work for the cruise ship and the guy said, okay, here, go put your stuff in your room and take out that stupid suit. Because if you go up the street with that, they'll kill you. Keep in mind. This was just after the big Miami riots of 1980, 81.

When the police at the Columbia police guy at shot, one of the residents down in Liberty city. So the CPS has been pardoned quite a bit. So that was my arrival in my, 

Adam Coelho: [00:09:53] and so as you're arriving in the United States, What is your plan? What are you thinking that, you're going, how you're going to approach things going forward.

You have $7 in your pocket. How do you go 

Val Coelho: [00:10:08] from there? That, this is a funny story because in the last year I was in Portugal, I was a bartender and people were coming to me. To go up and bars for them guys service. And I have some money. I want to open a bar in there. I don't know anything about it, but you have been recommended that you know what you're doing.

And I would like you to come to work for me and open the box. I open two private bars and then I went to open the bar at the five star Atlantis back then on the last. Job at the Atlantic is we worked seven days grand inauguration with people from all over the world. It was a five star hotel. That, that bean actually was, the structure was almost complete when we had the revolution in 74.

And that was not open until 1982. But when it was open and was grandiose. And so we working almost run the clock during day. Now, aberration being the head bartender. We had to serve breakfast and lunch and dinner and the late night drinks and everything. And then when the payroll came. The Autel, which today would be human resources paid overtime to the people in the dining room and did not pay overtime to the people in the bars.

And that was really what set me off and said, I got an affidavit. So I remember at the time that at one of the previous bars at that open a friend of a friend at said that they had these led there, that they could take to the us embassy to ask for a work visa to work on a cruise ship. But because the cruise ship didn't guarantee my salary, it would not do it.

It was not going to do it because they only got paid in teams. So I said let me see if I can find these guys. So I called a friend of the friend and they got me the letter. I wrote the letter in broken English to the Apollo ship Chandlers in Miami, which was the company that the catering exploration on a carnival before carnival got really big.

And they sent me a letter. To go ask for a visa and to come. So when I came to go work on the cruise ship. I didn't come to the United States. I came to the United States to go work on a cruise ship, which was not a visit to be a shore was only good to be a sea man, but I had something to do.

So I did without a job in mind. Funny thing is when I got to that same hotel in Miami. Then the ship that I was coming to work in didn't have room for me. So we had to wait three or four days. Then they told us that there was room in a ship in New York. So since I was the only one that spoke a little English, they put four of us on airplane back then we're still at Eastern.

So we flew our new stern from Miami to New York. To go join the pretenders in New York. And I was already the head of the class being the one representing and talking for those other three that were with me because they were from central American. They spoke no English whatsoever. So we joined the ship in New York.

And then the first cruise I made was from New York to the Bermuda, which was beautiful. Very 

Adam Coelho: [00:14:02] cool. Very cool. That's a great story. 

Val Coelho: [00:14:04] Know they call it these plans. You think I'm going to do this. I'm going to do that. And then, you can imagine how it was to leave your country at 24. Whether you add all your friends, all your family and leave, not only, like many Portuguese did during that data ship to France.

And Germany and England, but to leave and move clear across an ocean. In a time in which there was no social media, there was very little international lines of communication. And in Europe, that was pretty much controlled to commerce with England before the common market, as we know it today, England controlled a lot of their commerce into Europe, especially from the United States.

Everything that's fine for me. Went through England before it made it to mainland Europe. So we make an, a phone call to make a phone call for five minutes was 10 $20 on a pay phone, putting coins in it to call once a month to talk with your mother or your sister. So that was Dr. Lee different, but Life is what you make of it.

Yeah, we can look at the fact that my idea of coming here was to try to get some money, work hard on a cruise ships. And because at the time. That difference in between the dollar and the school, which was the currency of Portugal was quite large by working here for a couple of years, I would have been able to go back and get in my own bar or something like that.

Which at the time, what you go was just coming back from the four years that we stopped for the revolution. And like from 1982, wait is three to 1995. There was a big boom in tourism, in Portugal and people that opened and restaurants may doctor very well with all of that. Of course, I came here, then I ended up meeting your mother.

We fell in love and we ended up getting married and I stay. 

Adam Coelho: [00:16:31] So it sounds like you came here with the intention of staying a few years, making some money and heading back to Portugal to open a bar because that's what you had been working in before. Life had other plans for you? I find it interesting to reflect on this now as well, because I thought I'd move out to California, worked for Google for two years, then go off, work for a startup or something and then build my own business as well.

Obviously 10 years in that hasn't happened. So life had different plans for me as well. I'd love to hear your thoughts on that idea. That life is what happens when you're making other plans and how that played out in your life. 

Val Coelho: [00:17:12] What I was trying to remember was that after coming in here and working on the cruise ships, when I finally got vacation, I went and Took six weeks time for vacation and went to Portugal to visit the family and to visit friends and whatnot.

What you realize is that once you leave the world, doesn't stop. You remember things as they were, but your friends, your family, the place itself moves on just because you left it. Doesn't stop. It's like there is a Brazilian song that goes to leave. Is to die a little bit because you get separated from the reality that you add.

So after three weeks in Portugal on my vacation, I said, wow, I don't fit into this place. Like I used to, and it's too slow and I'm used to be running around. I'm going to go back. I just went to the travel agency at the time. Did they ever seem to travel agencies? There was no kayak or nothing like that.

And I reboot my ticket two weeks earlier to come back and that's how I came back sooner than I expected. And start looking maybe at making a living in here. And of course your mother convinced me of that. And that's how we started. The two offers got married and I got the job at a restaurant because that was what I knew and what I had.

A good background on, I tried to be a manager and I was a manager at two different restaurants, but I realized that it was just for most of the jobs in management in which is considered retail restaurant is no more than retail in this country. Does that just jobs in which you are being exploited by the hours you work by being a manager, you don't get paid extra time or anything.

You just have that title of manager with the promise of a promotion and whatnot, and you are working less hours not getting the benefits of it. So after that was clear to me, your mother. Told me that probably I should look for the job, like with ups, which I did. And once I got hired I stayed in that for 14 years because of the benefits, the salary, the.

Weekends off that allowed me time to be with a family, which you know, what I had in the restaurant business. So that was a great compromise and I'm in a compromise because I really had a hospitality in my blood. And I'm very people friendly. I like to talk a lot with people, listen to their ideas, tell stories, listen to other people's perspectives.

So that was One of the things that really drove me to the restaurant and bar business, by working with ups, we were able to get that security and the benefits to start a family and to have you and your brother. 

Adam Coelho: [00:20:49] Yeah. And so you did that for 14 years, much of my early childhood, you were doing that very physical labor.

Obviously, delivering packages, but it gave us the security and insurance and all of that and allowed you to be home with us on the weekends. Where did things go from there? 

Val Coelho: [00:21:11] Both your mother and I, we always had these entrepreneurials period. We kept on trying a couple of different things and I've made a couple of twice that a couple of different businesses that were utterly failures, but kept on learning from it.

And finally your mother got beat into their head that she wanted to open an living facility. And the fun part of it is that when we went to Vegas on vacation, we actually went there also to look at the Vegas area, if it would be something that would be willing to move to, because at the time practice was just about to explode.

During this vacation. I don't know if you remember. You're pretty young was the four of us and Michelle and grandma, we went to Vegas, we went to the grand Canyon. We went to LA and San Diego. So it was. A nice vocation, but the Durham frame off that vacation was your mother saying, when I go back, I will open an assisted living facility.

I'm going to buy a house and open an assisted living facility. And the fun part of it is that. We came back and on September 15th, we put money down on a house. And in October we had a facility that was being licensed and we opened our first assisted living facility. Those were struggling times. We were working very hard.

I was working there, putting the facility together. Doing a lot of assembling furniture, cleaning, painting, blah, blah, blah, and very difficult to get the first resident, which we've. Finally did Lil Paro. God bless her heart. So finally, around the April, I believe around April, we finally were making enough money quiets the facility that we were not having to put every cent from our paychecks into it.

And I thought to myself, boy, I able to breathe now. Thank God. And I'm your mother Gerson tells me I found this facility. I'm going to buy it. That's it, honey. We just opened this. And we finally got enough people to breathe and she says, Nope, there is one for sale. We're going to have to go buy it. We're going to have to go by it, figure out what we're got to do.

We're going to have to go buy it. I said, I don't know how to go buy it. Then she says, we'll figure it out. So she found this place that we still own today. Bright horizons of coral Springs and June 9th, 1999, we bought a second facility. There we are cleaning it up, making it up to our standards, putting our.

What I call our border on top of the wall to the ceiling, like the signature of bright horizons. I told your mother, listen, we, I cannot keep on working these hours for ups and working these facilities. I'm running myself to the ground in a year. If we're going to do these. What are we going to do is buy a third one.

And so I can quit my job and work this full-time with you. And she said let's see what we can do. And October or November, maybe November of 1999, we did buy another house in the towels and we got bright horizons off North Springs. I give notice on a. January 2nd, first week of January, 2000. I give notice at ups and start working bright horizons.

Full-time 

Adam Coelho: [00:25:09] wow. So how fast was it from the first one to the third one? 

Val Coelho: [00:25:13] We've got from zero facilities to three facilities in one year. And then we we got bright horizons off sunrise. That was an empty house in 1998. And then in June of 1999, we got Russo that became bright horizons. Of coral Springs that was already licensed, but that one or two residents, I believe one resident.

And it was, pretty Dungy at that sectional couch that we call the bus. And we we got that one. And then the later that pier, we had a couple of people that wanted a place and we didn't have a place for them. So we got the house in the Dalles. Prepared it for an official Olympic facility and Apple, if we had the first resident.

Yeah. Phil in 1999. And then we in 2000, we were full again. So we, yeah, it's really the first year, then we stabilized a little bit in 2001. We bought bright horizons of Greenwood. In 2002, we bought the house for Ramblewood that we rent for 50 days to be bright horizons ramble within 2002. And then in 2003, I bought we bought ballot and it became bright horizon software clubby.

So from the end of 1998 to 2003, we got six facilities and 44 residents by having created these businesses and having quit Ups. I was able to be home with you guys and be home every day when you guys came back from school and we had a dinner together for all those years. And I saw you guys through your teenage years, never had a problem with you guys.

And I guess most of it was probably because we were able to have dinner together and be a close unit family. Of course, you probably remember having to go take some landscaping and working at the facilities here and there with me, which was a good lesson for you as well. 

Adam Coelho: [00:27:33] Absolutely. I certainly do remember that, but even didn't realize that it happens so quickly that within five years he went from working at ups and mom was doing therapy to having six facilities.

I didn't realize it was so fast. And also, I do remember that trip to the grand Canyon and very vividly remember mom in the minivan or whatever we had talking about that at the edge of the grand Canyon saying, I'm going to start a facility. And everyone was like, Oh, you're crazy. You're not going to, that's a good idea, but who knows what?

And then it just came very quickly after that it just happened. 

Val Coelho: [00:28:12] That's your mother, when she puts her head to something, there is no turning around. She'll go. She'll go. She'll go until she gets it. 

Adam Coelho: [00:28:20] That's true. Let's shift gears now into what I call the mindful fire. Final four. And the first question is.

What is one thing that you're extremely grateful for 

Val Coelho: [00:28:31] first and foremost, I'm very grateful for my health. I've been very lucky for all the craziest things that I have done and everything I've gone in my life. My house has been pretty good and I have never broken a bone in my body. Thank God. That's first and foremost, what I'm most grateful for to start with.

Of course, I'm very grateful for my family, my whole family. And in particularly my close family, you and your brother, your mother, and now my grandson and the spouses of my sons. I think that it's so important that both of you guys. App spouses and that pretty much in a stable relationships in your lives.

And I'm very proud and very grateful for that. That brings me peace of mind and joy. It's a great gift. To be able to look into the future, knowing that you guys had pretty much set and I don't have to worry about your future. 

Adam Coelho: [00:29:42] Thank you. I'm very grateful for you and mom as well. And for our entire family.

The second question is what advice would you give to someone early on their path to financial independence? 

Val Coelho: [00:29:54] I think that one of the best things that you can do for your financial independence is to look at what's out there that is sustainable, that you can make good living at that you can make a difference in.

Choose something that you think that you can do and educate yourself about it. Study about it. If you need to go to school, learn about it. We all make excuses, but we all have 24 hours a day. If what you're doing right now, doesn't satisfy you. If you starting a career. Don't just jump into something to have a job, but look around, see what it is that you could do that could make you happy and could be financially rewarding for yourself and do it.

Adam Coelho: [00:30:49] Yeah, that's great advice. And while I know that you don't have a regular meditation practice per se, what advice would you give to someone getting started with mindfulness or. Training their mind and thinking about their mindset to approach life with 

Val Coelho: [00:31:09] again, like I told you before, I am for many years, but meditation and breathing techniques and all of that, I should have probably looked into it further.

That's one of the things that we probably could notice that sometimes we don't look deep enough into opportunities that present themselves to us from all that I've been reading and Learning lately, it looks like meditation has been a great catalyst of success for a great number of people.

1. Just meditation itself or B the power to concentrate on specific techniques or whatever you want to call it, but it looks like many people have done it that use it very successful for their careers and for their wellbeing. So probably something that people should take a good look at and continue with.

Give it the good old Try before just giving up on it. There is evidence that is big advantages of being a practitioner. 

Adam Coelho: [00:32:34] Very good. And the last question is throughout my life, you've used this phrase. What other people think of me is none of my business. And I heard that many times, but it wasn't until I was like 25.

When that really sunk in. Can you talk a little bit about that philosophy and kind of the dangers of worrying too much about what other people think of you? 

Val Coelho: [00:32:58] There is very well recorded opinions and say history, if we go back the 10 commandments, the sayings of Confucius, the people's Proverbs, there is all sorts of sayings that humanity as collected, and some of them have become Proverbs.

Some have big funds, some whatever you want to call it. So that is the seven deadly sins, gluttony lost, whatever self, all of these things exist because they have been proven that they can have an effect on our life, especially. If you don't pay attention to them, or if you are ignorant of that, envy is one of the worst deadly sins.

And that's because people can have envy of you and. Say things about you or what you drank to do that, that nothing to do with the reality. And if you believe it, they going to affect your judgment, what you do or what you don't do because somebody else. Puts things in your mind without knowing at all, what was it that you were trying to do?

If you say I'm going to start this business, many people that will comment on it. I have no idea about the business that you're going to start, but they'll have an opinion about it and they can ruin your plan by putting doubts in your thing. On the other end, if you are envious of somebody, you spending your time.

And being the person for what they have and for what they achieve is that off track to see why is it that they have what they have and what they achieved and try to put the same effort into yourself to try to achieve something. And that goes to comparisons. So if you try. To make a living on whatever, and you compare yourself with dollars all the time.

Comparison is good. If you want to see where you are on the scale, but if you constantly compare yourself to others on what you have and what they have, then there's always going to be somebody that's more than you. It's going to be somebody that is stronger than you, that is prettier than you. So it's just the moralizing.

If you got that, that Avenue, the best thing. And that goes back to the first leg there, the first idea of financial independence, what financial independence gives you is security. And self-esteem. Okay. When you have financial independence, now you feel like you are secure and your self-esteem goes up.

What do you think about me is none of my business is really about you keeping your esteem and knowing yourself for, and do what you're going, gonna do and prove the other people that might, that's about you wrong. But first do it and then tell them, don't tell them and then try to do it. You do what you need to do.

And then the doctors will see that you could do it. 

Adam Coelho: [00:36:43] Yeah, it's one that really stands out to me because for a long time, like without even realizing it, I was, and to some degree still am just trying to like. Gain approval from people to show them that I'm doing things right, or that I'm smart, or that I know this.

And it could be for a number of reasons, school, it's like the whole thing is set up for that. And as a striver in school, I was always trying to, look smart and get good grades and things like that. But regardless, like it just is such a waste of energy to worry about what other people are thinking of.

You. Or what some, how someone might react if you try something different, because the reality is also, they probably are not even thinking of you at all. And so all of that mental energy is really just a waste of energy that I could be putting into doing the thing that I think would be interesting to try.

Val Coelho: [00:37:40] And so all of those things. Are also part of the way that we are raised you being Portuguese blood. There is always that little hint of perfectionism. You have to try to be perfect at. That is probably one of my biggest defects is always trying to get things done the way I think it's right then I probably passed it down to you.

But I hope that you can drop it back and that some of the baggage definitely carry it. It's what slows us down. It's the story of the month that I probably told you, and we wouldn't finish this without me having some sort of a story that two months got to the grid that was overflowing. And there was a girl in there to cross with them.

And one of the months. Said, do you want to go to the other side? I'll pick you up and I'll carry you. And she said, okay, that would be great. So the monk picked her up on his back, carry there to the other side of the Creek. The other monk came to and they put the girl down, the girl went about airlines and the two monks walk down and they were just not talking.

And finally, the monk said, I can believe you do that. And the one that Carrie, the girl said, I did what that you picked up the girl and you carry that to the other side of the Creek. That's not what moms do. And he said I put the girl down right on the other side, off the Creek, but you are still carrying there on your back.

Adam Coelho: [00:39:20] Yeah, that's a great point. We carry a lot of baggage. From big things or small things, but it's really helpful to just ask the question, is this useful? That's something that I try to practice is if I'm ruminating about something that happened, that didn't go well or whatever, just the first few times it might be useful, but like the 37th time I'm going over this in my head, it's not useful.

So I can just set it down and keep walking forward. 

Val Coelho: [00:39:48] Absolutely. And I wish I could tell you how to drop those things, but I do carry a few of them myself. And, once in a while you are doing something, get some stuff that happened 30, 40 years ago, Crips into your mind, and you're still recriminating yourself about it.

So just if you can, when they come to your mind, just say I learned the lesson that goodbye. 

Adam Coelho: [00:40:12] Yeah, absolutely. Dad, this has been wonderful. Thank you so much for joining me today. Thanks a lot. It's 

Val Coelho: [00:40:20] been my pleasure. I hope you can use some of this stuff. If not for your podcast, at least for our relationship now that I love you and that I admire you for everything you have done and that you are the way.

And I love you and your family. 

Adam Coelho: [00:40:35] Thank you so much, dad, for being with me here today on the mindful fire. Thank you. 

Val Coelho: [00:40:40] It was a pleasure. Thank 

Adam Coelho: [00:40:41] You so much for joining me today on the mindful fire podcast. If you got value from the episode, please hit subscribe. This just lets the platforms know you're getting value from the episodes and you'd like to be here when we produce additional content.

And if you're getting value from the show, we'd love it. If you could share it with a friend or two who might get value from the content, and if you're listening to this on Apple podcasts, we'd really appreciate. If you could leave a five-star review, this just lets more people find out about the message of mindfulness and financial independence.

Thanks again, and I'll catch you next time on the mindful fire podcast.